The tapering is an up and down process. I have some good days, where I feel like I could kick the world’s ass, and then there are days like today where I am definitely on the receiving end of the ass-whoopin.
However. The discomfort I’ve been feeling is nothing like the times I tried to taper myself off opiates in the past (or quit cold-turkey, god forbid). I’m not in bed all day crying and wishing I was either dead or in possession of more drugs. So that’s progress.
I have intermittent headaches and I feel like I have a mild flu that fluctuates in intensity throughout the day. My internal thermostat seems to be off as well. I was cold and bundled up all day today, which is strange for me, and it was high 70’s to low 80’s here today. Weird.
I got up early with C today and got her off to the bus, then came home and read for a bit and fell asleep. J woke me with brunch around 11 or so, and after I ate I spent some time reading and surfing online. Around 3 I was overwhelmingly tired, like falling asleep in my chair tired, so I went back to bed. This evening I took a walk, and now I’m here writing.
Not terribly productive, but I feel like I should give my body the rest it is clearly craving if I’m able to do so. Yesterday I worked and was on my feet for 8 hours, so I’m sure that is a contributing factor in my fatigue today. And J has been really good about getting meals and giving me time and space to do as much nothing as I want or need.
Tomorrow I’m going to go back to the gym. My arm is mostly healed, but I’ll probably just do a cardio workout. We’ll see. Mostly I just want to soak in the hot tub, but once I’m there I’ll break down and get some exercise too. Working out really helps with the w/d symptoms and with my mood and energy levels as well. This time I just need to listen to my body more and not push so hard that I hurt myself. Just typing that out makes it seem like such a no-brainer, but then again it usually is the obvious that escapes me.
Now I’m rockin a headache for which I do not know the cure. These headaches don’t respond to my migraine meds or to otc pain relief. I’m fairly certain that they are related to the Sub w/d’s, since the time I’ve been on Sub has been some of the most headache-free time in my life. Maybe I’ll put an ice pack on my head and see if that helps.
As far as my spirit goes, it is strangely unflagging. I’ve not been one to suffer discomfort stoically in my life, so this is kinda surprising. I guess I’m just ready to push through this over the coming months. While I’m grateful for the space and time Suboxone has given me to get my act together, I feel I’m outgrowing it or gone past it’s usefulness and I’m ready to move on. As always, the trick is finding balance: not pushing too hard too fast or losing my focus and going too slowly. Just like with working out, the key here seems to be slowing down and listening to my body.
I also hope to find some homeopathic or naturopathic support for this process. I’ll probably post more on that soon.
Goodnight!
5 comments
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September 16, 2008 at 9:24 pm
Erin
I’m so proud of you. Withdrawals from anything really screw with you and it’s great that you are so aware of what your body seems to be needing.
Listening to our bodies and our minds seems to be the key to life. You are learning your lesson the hard way but you certainly are learning right?
Good luck. Keep us posted.
October 11, 2008 at 12:00 pm
Jeffrey Junig MD PhD
Good luck with your taper. The taper is very different from coming off other opiates– the ceiling effect works in reverse as well as forward, so the taper from 16 to 8 to 4 is nothing, but going from 2 mg to zero is where all the work has to be done. I see that you are looking for things that are more homeopathic, and that’s great– if you wanted to treat the last few days with meds, I usually prescribe clonidine for chills and irritability (very sedating, but helpful at night), a bit of ativan (not all that addictive when used for two or three days) for muscle cramps, immodium for abdominal cramps and diarrhea… and for that horrible fatigue that goes on forever, wellbutrin can help– or if a person has ADD there is a great new med called ‘vyvanse’ that lasts 16 hours and has very, very low if any addictive liability that eliminates fatigue in low doses (it consists of amphetamine bound to lysine, which is inactive if snorted).
Yes, these drugs are a bunch of the garbage you are saying good bye to, but for very short periods of time they can be quite helpful. I rationalize that the cravings are going to return off the Suboxone, and so anything I can do to make it easier for the person going off will help them keep the recovery program in place.
I’m also big on ‘powerlessness’– an addict with will power has no reason to quit, as if I can control my use, give me stuff today and I’ll quit tomorrow!! Always remember all the ways we tried to stop, all without success, and keep it powerless and humble.
Again, good luck with things. If you get a chance, check out my blog and give me a link(?)– Thanks!
SuboxDoc
http://suboxonetalkzone.com
October 22, 2008 at 4:05 pm
bottlecappie
Hey SuboxDoc – thanks for your comment and the advice. Unfortunately for me, my doctor ain’t handing out any comfort meds other than hydroxyzine. And I’ve even taken Adderall before for add, but no dice on the Vyvanse anyway.
Lucky for me, my current schedule allows for a lot of naps.
I’m adding you to my blogroll, sir.
January 21, 2009 at 5:27 am
cb inbama
hey doc, i was on the program since november 1st and being given 8mg twice dailey. i have no insurance so the program got to expensive. i cut myself down to 8 mg a day som days none at all. my last 8mg dose was sat. what can i expect? money is just to tight to go back…………..
October 29, 2009 at 1:15 pm
Denise
How did that go for you?