I am in withdrawals, and it’s really starting to suck. I asked Mr. Bottlecappie to please please make sure I wouldn’t run out before I start this induction, but shit happens and there was no money and so here I am. Plus, some asshole took all of my cough medicine that had codine in it, so now I have to deal with this fucking cough too. Joy.
As you can tell, I’m a little pissy. I’m restless and my muscles ache, soon the bones will start too. Of course, no one is answering their phones so I can hook up a few pills. Good lord, I just ned to get through till Thursday am, which means I only need pills for today and maybe Tuesday am. Then I’m free. I hope.
The whole point of this thing was to not have to fucking suffer through the dopesick. Well, that and to get better, but still. This Fucking Sucks.
I guess I’ll go see if I have enough benzos to knock me out until something better comes along. Like my new life.
I hate this.
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July 18, 2008 at 1:27 pm
morganna
nothing is worse than being dopesick. i haven’t slept, eaten, or wanted to live in forty eight hours. we’re coming in on friday. on saturday morning i get relief. i can’t wait. i just perused the side of the website…’food, my other addiction’…er, what??? this, i don’t understand. how could anyone be addicted to FOOD? as far as i know, food doesn’t make you feel blissful, apathetic, happy, and free of pain the way H and other opiates do…
July 18, 2008 at 2:18 pm
bottlecappie
hi morganna, I’m sorry you’re feeling so badly. Do you mean you’re going on Sub on Saturday? If so, you should feel lots better.
Regarding food as an addiction…it’s pretty prevalent. There’s an Overeaters Anonymous even. I think it has more to do with an addictive behavior, like gambling, a coping tool or habit that you compulsively seek even when it doesn’t help or even harms you.
June 21, 2009 at 3:32 pm
John C.
I’m maybe 8 hours into detoxing. I’m going from a jab a day (12-13) to nothing. All I have are clonidinne to help me sleep. Nothing for pain, nothing for the saddness. I just fucked up and tried to shot up some shit I had in a tooter. I thought I had the vein, but I missed. Wow, what a dumbass. This shit hurts! Why do we get ourselves into this mess? We dig such a hard hole t climb out of. Everyone says, “just stop doing the shit!” Only, if ONLY it were that easy. I feel your pain, and then some. I’m here with you brother, in the same boat. In the same dark waters. In the same fucked up world. You’re not alone, Friend.
July 30, 2009 at 2:20 am
Keith
Keith
dopesick. its the worst. First i started with the perks and then that became to expensive and didnt last for more than 2 hours. Then i moved up to oxys, they were more money but were worth it, because at the time all i needed was a half a 80 and i was feelin great all day. next thing you know i was eating 4 a day @50 dollars a piece. getting sick every day sucked and the only way i knew at the time to ease my pain was eat at least one oxy but i burned all my bridges and i was all tapped out couldnt borrow another penny from anybody and even if i found a way to get some loot it wouldnt be enough for a oc. so then i went to snorting dope, at only 10 dollars a bag why not and i still looked at people like they were crazy shooting dope. And i knew or thought i knew i would never stick a needle in my arm. my tolerance got so high that i couldnt afford to snort dope either. i needed 5 bags a day just so i wouldnt get sick. I really need to get clean. Ive been shooting for about a month now. i want to get clean so bad. But i dont know how. I have a full time job, a beautiful wife, a beautiful 2 year old little girl and i dont want my little girl growing up knowing her father is a junky. My wife never touched a drug in her life so she wouldnt understand what im going through. She knows im using something she just doesnt know what if she knew what i was using she would be gone with my daughter. I need to detox and stay clean. if any body has any words of wisdom im all ears. i have no health insurance and a full-time job im about to lose. i cant seem to find funding for rehab because i have a job and i dont make enough money to pay for it myself. if anybody knows any program that will fund low to mid income please let me know
August 7, 2009 at 12:20 pm
Pat
I know how you feel, Keith. I got out of rehab April 5 of this year and everything was going good, I was smoking weed, however, which in rehab I was told to stay away from anything. I didn’t start again with dope as if it were like, “You know, this is good but it ain’t what I’m looking for.” My weed dealer was a dope head and one thing led to another and now here I am, dope sick. Unlike you, I don’t have a job, kid or wife but like you I have no way to get help. No job which means no money. No insurance. I hear methadone isn’t worth it and even so I can’t get insurance. Welfare won’t take me. Subs are too expensive. And it’s unfathomable to just sweat it out which it looks like I’m gonna have to do.
One day in for me, went through my cottons. I only have so many more CDs and DVDs left to sell which might not afford me more than a bundle. Looks grim for me like it does you. But you gotta keep trying. Call every number, out of city, out of state, it doesn’t matter. Pester them. Shit, lie! We’re junkies, not like we’ve never lied. Make it sound worse than it is. When I went into rehab I was using 14 bags a day but I told them more. I think I said 20 something. Who are they to say I’m lying? I lied to get drugs, why not lie to get help. I wish you all the luck, man. I wish everyone on here all the luck. I’ve been there. This is my third relapse in less than two years with only maybe a total of 3 months clean from it, if that. I think tomorrow I’m gonna try and get at least $10 off my dad, hock some CDs and DVDs and get a couple bags, if the good spot is still around. Last time I was there cops were all over. But then Saturday I’ll be in the same predicament…
July 14, 2009 at 9:08 pm
Ryan A
Day 4 i think, feels like a fuchin week. I want food and water so bad, the body don’t want it, I would kill for more than 15 miuntes of sweaty sleep. When does it begin to feel like ya don’ wanna die…
July 19, 2009 at 5:32 am
Laura
I love how the ask for favors but are never there when you need them returned.. fuck them! fuck those fat cat ladies with blood stains on their fucking sweat pants! fuck their hep c too… assholes..